What are you playing at?

Funny how something as playful as play can carry negative connotations.

On one hand, when we play, we express joy, imagination, and freedom. In other contexts, however, play can be seen as self-indulgent, manipulative, or childish.

A model for understanding

Transactional Analysis (TA), a model of communication, offers some insight. One of its core ideas is that we each have three parts to our personality, or “ego states.” Our Child ego state includes thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we developed growing up. Our Parent ego state includes attitudes and behaviours we learned from significant figures in our lives. Our Adult ego state reflects our capacity to be present and respond to the “here and now.”

Each ego state has its positive and negative sides. For example, our Free Child can be natural, creative, and spontaneous—but also self-centered, irresponsible, and immature. Our Adapted Child can be positively cooperative and conforming—but also overly compliant or locked in rebellion.

Experiential leadership

It was fascinating to see the press in Rome wrestle with the relationship between play and leadership. The mayor’s office (il Sindaco) had all gone off to a retreat to “play motivational games” guided by Impact Italia, an expert experiential training organisation. To some critics, being casually dressed, experimenting, and having fun seemed frivolous. Yet the experiential projects they undertook provided powerful forums to explore communication and decision-making behaviours within the team.

Plato would have supported their two-day investment. As he said, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”

Let your playful self shine

In adult life, the prevailing opinion seems to be that if we’re playing, we’re not serious, not learning, not “doing what we should.” For many valid reasons, we often separate our personal and professional selves—leaving our playful selves at the door. Yet when we allow that hidden part of ourselves to shine at work, we open up to deeper learning, become more expansive, and create a more positive, constructive environment.

One leader told me that although he had often used games as a Scout Leader, he’d never considered bringing them into his “real job.” After his experience on one of our programmes, he realised how valuable it was for highlighting issues. Now, by using more team-building activities with his group, he has seen efficiency and engagement improve markedly.

How can you bring more play into your leadership? Your work?

As for me, I’m looking forward to playing shock start boxes, sensorials, and other fun activities with a group in Connecticut this week.