Some things can make all the difference.
Maybe using “yes and” as opposed to “yes but” or “yes or” is one of them.
Words can be both our trap and our ticket.
“Yes but” and “Yes or” can trap us into defending our position, dismissing someone else’s idea/belief/opinion and create unnecessary barriers.
“Yes and…” however, can be a ticket to greater understanding, creativity and connection.
That little change of “and” can be a doorway to:
- offering the possibility that other possibilities can co-exist alongside each other.
- showing appreciation of, and respect for another point of view.
- opening hearts and minds
- sparking creativity as ideas are built upon (it is an improvisional theatre technique after all).
- liberating thinking that only one truth exists.
- embodying agility
- generating mutual understanding.
- offering a challenge in a way which nurtures the relationship
- moving expansively towards completeness rather than limitingly towards division.
- actively honour that life is full of paradoxes, and therefore help us to accept ambiguity and the paradoxes within ourselves.
So
“Yes there is so much to celebrate on International Women’s Day and we still have a long way to go in transforming the patriarchy.”
“Yes we are in tough times and we need to continue to invest in our development”.
“Yes we are harming the world and we can regenerate it”.
“Yes a leader can be both strong and vulnerable in equal measure”.
“Yes I do love you and do not appreciate that behaviour”.
…
Try it if you haven’t already discovered its worth. Next time you find yourself about to say “yes but”or “yes or”…pause…and rephrase using “yes and” …and notice how you feel, how the other person reacts and how things evolve.
Photo by Drahomír Posteby-Mach on Unsplash